My family settled me in at my home as best they could but I was so upset that my children were not to be living with me anymore that I thought that I would literally die, but at least, I was back at home.
The first day I spent at home, (with most of the time spent in bed) and then the second day, I got a taste of what my life would become for the fore-seeable future. I was awakened by my front door bell and then the carer came in to my room and the daily washing, dressing and feeding began. I had gotten used to carers at my sisters house and of course I was used to the nurses at rehab, but no one ever told me that I was to have a nurse or carer for most of the time when I first came home.
My mother came to spend a few days with me every couple of weeks, my sisters all came here and there and my girls came over most afternoons after school, so, I wasn't left alone completely by myself which is a good thing, after such a traumatic event, and at least with them at my home, I had something to occupy my time.
However, when they went home, silence descended on me and I was alone. My family had organised Foxtel for me (the cable pay for channels) and I had the normal television to make my life 'a bit easier', but I can tell you, there was nothing that could make up for my previous life and I spent a lot of my now time crying and thinking what I would be doing in my life, if I hadn't had the stroke!
This is the list of people who came into my life and spent a great deal of time in my home from that day forward: The counsellor - very important, the Occupational Therapist - they helped my to organise my time and made sure I could do my exercises, the Speech Therapist - for obvious reasons, I couldn't speak! Physiotherapist and at least one Carer who washed, dressed and helped me to learn my way around my home, the grounds, the garden and to the local shops. These people were to all intents and purposes - me.
The most important person to me at the time was Gemma, the counsellor. I railed and ranted in fits and starts as best as I could since I still couldn't speak hardly at all. She organised for my girls to speak to her when they wanted or needed to, all the services necessary for me, such as community cars, taxi vouchers, laundry service, Stroke Survivors group and other things like that.
Tania, the Occupational Therapist came and tried to make things better for me and all of her 'clients' I am sure, but I really didn't understand what she spoke about and how my doing what she was doing was going to make my life 'better'! She made up lists for me to follow when we went to the supermarket, or when we went to the cafe, or when we just went up to the Mall. She tried to show me how and what I could do (which wasn't a lot!) and I tried, but mostly, I cried.
Then there was Ness, the other Occupational Therapist who worked on my hand and arm and spent a long time trying to get me to work with a casino 'chip', running it round and round my left hand and fingers to try to help me become adept at using my left hand. What a lovely young woman she was and she tried hard to make me lighten up. I know that she would be amazed at my progress as I think that I type quite fast with only my left hand!!
Of course, the most important person to my mind at the time was the Speech Therapist as I had been an actress and a compere and had used my voice as my way of making a living! Amanda and then Julia were the most vital people in my mind - they could give me back my life and my living - or so I thought. However, it was a long and very arduous undertaking to try to make my mouth make the sounds that I was used to making.
After a while, I had to employ my own team of people as I had used up all the services that the government provided to a disabled person for free. Luckily I was able to choose the best people from Royal Rehabilitation Centre Sydney. So, I had Philip W for my physio, Jennifer W for speech, Helen for OT and Peter my ex-husband to make sure everything was going like clockwork, but nothing and no one could help me to try to become the person who was left over from the person that used to be.
15.7.2012
