Laughter is whatyoumacallit.....

I thought that it was about time to let you all know that I did have a few laughs while I was still in the Royal Rehabilitation Centre Sydney as an in-patient! I know that I let it all seem to be so sombre and unhappy, but that is generally how we feel because our lives have been completely disrupted - but, sometimes it is just too funny and we have to laugh!


Annie, one of my long-time and wonderful girlfriends often came to see me and brought her sons along when I was in Coorabel Adult Rehabilitation Service (CARS  or just Coorabel), and this particular afternoon she had been talking quietly to me when we heard something in the hallway. Annie was feeling mortified, when Dan, her 9 year old hopped into my wheel chair and took off! He was a good driver and of course, a wheel chair was something new, cool and fast!! Her oldest son, Mikey, got into the swing of things with Dan and they both zoomed up and down the corridors!!


I remember that was one of the first occasions that I felt like laughing and I did uproariously! Annie was chasing after Dan and trying to quietly chastise him and I just laughed more, it was so funny to watch someone trying to be a grown up and you could see that maybe, she wouldn't have minded having a zoom around herself! The boys are still, thankfully, in my life and they are so welcome because they take you as they find you, and that is very refreshing.


Which brings me back to the time when I was saying that my daughter didn't like people to say to ask me what happened or to say me, "Did you break your arm?" and definitely didn't like me to say "No, I have had a stroke and my arm is partially paralysed", because most people feel embarrassed, and so do my daughter's - why??? They didn't do anything and neither did I, so, everyone has to 'get over it'!!!


My right arm is still a problem, as it used to be the dominant arm, with the dominant fingers, so, the fact that I can't write properly with my left hand either (because until recently, I was sure that my right hand would come back in to use just as long as I did this, that or something else), is irritating and annoying, but I have seen other stroke survivors writing and it is and can be as beautiful as the original writing, you just have to practise, practise and practise again - which I don't have the time or patience to get it right!


I also don't understand why other people feel embarrassed by people with a disability? I didn't before I had the stroke (which now is being called a brain attack, like a heart attack) and I doubly don't understand now! However, I am ashamed of my reaction to people with a disability before, because I really didn't have one, which is worse that being a bigot!!! I didn't have a reaction, because I used to think of the 10% of people in Australia who have some kind of disability, as being 'not there'. Since my stroke or brain attack, I can understand why the disabled people and their carers have become so much more vocal and political as we need to make sure that all people are being heard, especially the disadvantaged, which disabled people are.


There was a fantastic show on television this week called "Scarlet Road: A Sex Worker's Journey, about a woman called Rachel Wotton, who specialises in disabled clients. What a documentary, what a woman! It is fantastic that disabled people needs are being recognised in this and so many other areas. However, these other areas; like lifts and how to go out to certain restaurants and shops, are still being looked at as causing a huge disadvantage to the owners, the managers and people in general because they COST A HUGE AMOUNT OF MONEY for the poor restaurants, shops, hotels etc - what about the disabled people!!! At last they are being given a voice and it rings out loudly.


Most days I can confidently walk for miles and not feel too disabled, but sometimes, especially when I am tired, I will find that my right leg drags a little and my limp becomes so much more pronounced. Other times I try to block out the tiredness and say to myself, I am so lucky that I can walk at all!


That is how I truly feel now. I am blessed that I can walk, talk and am not too disabled. I assume that it will get better with time, but you know what the psychologists say, "ass u me"!!!

Buzzzzzzzz

It was the Christmas holidays and I was alone and would be for several days, so, the problem that I had, would have to be solved by me! It was a bad mozzie bite and I know, you say "phtt", that's no problem - well isn't it!!!


I had quite a few bites that season and my body has changed since I had my stroke/brain attack, so, my reaction to various things has changed. I no longer have hay fever, am not prone to the effects of eating to much and don't need Nexium for heartburn, however, I do have a bad reaction to mosquitoes. I don't know why, but there you are!


I left the balcony doors open so that I could enjoy the cool breeze that was blowing that evening and that was asking for trouble, because the mozzies were out in full force. One of the little monsters had bitten me on the inner side of my  middle finger but at the joint of the finger and my palm. It started slowly, but as time wore on my finger got a big blister and more and more swollen and because of the strange position that the bite was in, it was very hard to itch it or scratch it and nothing I could do would help.  My finger was swollen to the extent that I truly thought that it was going to burst!!


I wondered how I could 'pop' the blister because that was the only way that I could imagine that I was going to get on top of this problem. At first, I thought, "I will use a straight pin to pop it", but after a few goes at 'popping' the bite, I became worried in case I swallowed the pin, so, that was no good. Then I thought about a safety pin and I trawled though the house looking for the very thing, but when I got the pin, I couldn't open it because you need one good hand to open the pin (which is very small) I had, but then you have to hold that pin in your hand to prick the blister and I didn't have that!


I sat and thought some more, and then I realised that the pin was too small and a bigger pin, like a baby's nappy pin would work and I had one of those, but it took me the next hour to find that pin which was in our 'Memories' box, high up in the cupboard. It took me another hour to get the box down from the cupboard and you have to remember, I have to do it in a way that won't 'brain' me when I pull the box down! Eventually, I did manage to slide the box forward enough to get it over the edge of the shelf in the cupboard and catch it in my one good hand! Yaaaayyyyyy!


When I got the box open, I then started to look at all the lovely memories that the box held, and for a while, I forgot the blister on my hand, but not for long. I then went into the bathroom and was standing at the sink in front of the mirror (with the plug in the basin!!) and tried to 'pop' the blister while I held the safety pin in my mouth. I tried and tried, but it is so difficult to do something in reverse! By that I mean trying to do something that comes naturally but when you look at your self trying to do that thing in the mirror, you can't do it!!!


After a half and hour trying to 'pop' the blister, would you believe it - it popped!!!!! I was laughing like a loon and hopping, dancing around knowing that I had done something that no one told me do or helped me and I was soooo happy that I was laughing and not crying like I would have done not so long ago.