New York, New York

Well, it is four years and 5 months since the day that changed my life and I want to tell you what made me realise that even though the things that happened to me, wouldn't, if I could choose how my life was going to go - things could have been so much worse and I never thought that I would say that either!

I was telling you that the girls and I were going to go to New York in two weeks time and we were all soooo excited. The girls had heard all my stories of what a fascinating city NY was and how I couldn't wait to show it to them! I had been lucky enough to spend a bit of time in NY but not for over 20 years.

We had saved for at least a year so that we would have some cash to spend, but I didn't want the trip to be wonderful and our everyday life to be boring, so, I was intent on trying to let the girls have a good everyday life as well. We did all sorts of weekend things like playing volleyball with friends, going to the Moonlight cinema Centennial Park or we were lucky enough to be in the draw for and to win some family tickets in the Cahill Express Way on New Years Eve. We were fortunate enough to win a couple of other things like that as well.

The day that I had the stroke was the 17th March 2007, I was intending to drive my eldest daughter to Hoyts, a local Cinema, where she had a part-time job, but of course I had the stroke early enough so that I wasn't driving her to work!!! Can you imagine if I was? I would most likely have hurt us very badly if I didn't actually kill us. What if I had hurt some other innocent bystanders or some other helpless drivers or passengers!! That would have been disastrous. That would have been the first major kerfuffle.

On the 18th of March 2007, the Sydney Harbour Bridge was 75 years old and because that was a big birthday, the bridge was to be closed for several hours to let people like myself and my daughters walk the length of the Bridge from Milsons Point to the Rocks and back if we so desired. Well, if you have ever been on the Bridge when they close it to traffic, you can imagine what it is like! There are 10,000 people who want to walk, run, skateboard, ride bicycles, scooters and rollerblade over the beautiful old lady - can you imagine what it would be like to summon an ambulance to find you in the melee? I don't like your chances! That would have been the second kerfuffle.

Lastly, as I have mentioned several time already, the girls and I were ready to take off for the US or A!! We were already counting down the days and with just a couple of weeks to go, we could hardly sleep with the excitement. Can you imagine what it would have been like? We would have taken off from Sydney International Airport on a Qantas jet bound for Hawaii! It doesn't bear thinking about if I had have had the stroke while we were air-bourne, then I most probably would have died or become 'locked in', which doesn't bear thinking about. The first thing that I think of, is my two gorgeous children flying with a dead mother or  a very sick and unconscious one at the very least. That would have been the third kerfuffle, so, I think I am pretty lucky all things considered!!

Even though I was so angry, afraid and mourning for what I had lost in the way of my previous life, I can't help but think that the 'higher power', chose the least bad of the scenarios to visit upon me.

B-right side

After five or six weeks, I joined the Occupational Therapists in the kitchen where they told me, that I was about to make some toast and tea! I was thrilled, as I thought that making 'breakfast' was a real achievement!  


I manage to burn the first lot of toast because I couldn't coordinate myself in the wheelchair and 'do things'! I had to put more toast in the toaster and I watched it turn golden brown and then I remembered that I had to make a cup of tea. When it was almost ready for me to add milk, I almost burnt the toast again - Ness (the young OT) managed to get the slices out and ready to be buttered. That was a whole other thing right there, because I had been a right handed person most of my life and now, I didn't know what to do because I didn't have a right handed anything! I didn't even registered that I had a right side because it didn't do anything! My right side didn't hurt as such, it just did nothing. So, I remember looking at my right hand and my left and my right again, then I tried to butter with my left hand - whoaaa that was a mistake. I tried to put the knife onto the bread and I never realised how difficult it was to use your left hand, but that was what I had to face, that and more tears because I had no idea how I was going to butter this stupid toast!


After a few stops and starts, I managed to get the toast sort of buttered and took it and my tea and went to eat it in the 'dining room' that is set up in the hall of the Brain Injury Department. There where about 4 different lots of people learning various chores that morning and all of us were concentrating on our mission to the exclusion of everyone else. That hall saw many a herculean task I can tell you, as all of the broken people tried so hard to 'fit in' and be 'normal'.


This was one of the many meal time tasks that I and the other residents of Royal Rehabilitation Centre Sydney had to learn again. The simple tasks like making tea and toast seem are a huge learning curve and you really do feel 'chuffed' when you get it right! However, once won't do it, because you forget how to do it almost as soon as you make something - another thing I didn't know - and most people who are trying to make breakfast for the first, second and third time don't know this either!!! So, the whole process takes on surreal concept. 


After 3 or 4 times, it is set in your mind (brain) and you can go on to the next step, so, again learning everything, takes a long time. When we had the tea and toast down pat, we moved on to an egg, the next time it was an egg and bacon! Then, after I had made a simple breakfast a couple of times, we moved on to a full breakfast that included: cornflakes and milk, and fried egg and bacon with a piece of toast and a cup of tea, I wasn't going to eat all that anyway, but I felt really empowered!! That day was one of smiles and it only took me 8 weeks!


The staff are so patient and calm that it does make one wonder, is there a special place where they all come from???